Filed under Self
Written by Vira Anekboonyapirom
The dating world is a bit like a minefield of games that elicit a whirlwind of emotions. The texting tango in and of itself is confusing, let alone mustering the courage to go on a first date after only sharing a handful of playful bants through an online app. Follow-ups on a first date are rarely as simple as, “I like you, let’s do this again.” People just aren’t that forthcoming when it comes to their thoughts and feelings. Who enjoys being vulnerable anyway? So we rather play coy to look less eager or desperate because we don’t know how the other person feels.
Right, you’ve been on a first date and you had a great time but you don’t know if they’re just as into you. Now ideally, your potential mate will communicate their interest and tell you how they’re feeling, but some people are just better at showing how they feel. To help us understand a little more about these signs, body language expert & SmileDirectClub Confidence Council Member Dr Louise Mahler explains the signs that they’re into you without them having to say as much.
1. Looking at their phone
Etiquette hasn’t changed and looking at their phone during a first date is a big no-no. Dr Mahler explains that “If people are really interested in you they will avoid looking at their phone.”
While studies have shown that in 2022, “47 per cent of people admitted to having a phone ‘habit’, which has been associated with the same kind of addiction to gambling… (and) 43 per cent admit to using or looking at their phone while on a date.”
So are they interested or just have a bad habit?
“Sure, an emergency phone call can be permitted, but if they’re checking their phone every two seconds, it’s just not on. It undermines trust, is rude and unnecessary. Walk away.”
2. IT’s IN THE EYES & CONFIDENCE
Check for pupil dilation. Dr Mahler tells us that “The problem is that many of us are not aware of these intricacies, but we do know when someone has the ‘look’.” Thanks to a developmental psychologist, Ritch Savin-Williams from Cornell University who reported that “Pupil dilation matches what people report when feeling turned on by another person.”
Wandering eyes are never a good sign, “Maybe they are looking past you at things that are more interesting, or even worse, they are distracted by someone attractive walking by. If your date is feeling attracted, they may even stare deeply into your eyes while talking to you. Even to the point where it makes you feel rather uncomfortable and awkward. Eye contact is everything!”
“Keeping that eye contact and appearing confident is the key to success in the dating game. According to SmileDirectClub research, 30 per cent of Australians say that people who smile appear more confident. Have you ever heard the expression of smiling with your eyes? Having a big confident smile that reaches your eyes will make your date feel more comfortable, and people are inexplicably more drawn to confident people.”
3. stretching the timeline
Whether on a date or spending time with friends and family, “Every engagement has an ‘average’ timeline, and you can tell when things start to feel like they’re wrapping up.”
If they’re not going on bathroom breaks every five minutes but you notice them stretching out the time like finishing their food really slowly, ordering a coffee after a dessert or even continuing the conversation after the bill has been paid, then “These are sure signs your date likes you and reveals that this person doesn’t want the date to end,” Dr Mahler states.
If your date suggests a walk or perhaps moving to another place to hang out after the planned date, then he’s definitely into you.
4. Breathy deep voice
Did you know that the lining of your nose swells when you find yourself attracted to someone? Now we’re not saying that you need to stare into your date’s nostrils, but there are mysterious signs that happen when attraction sets in like a change in voice.
“When people are sexually excited the vocal folds swell. Although this is way below your conscious awareness and you can’t see or feel the vocal folds, you can hear the effect of this reaction. The effect of swollen vocal folds is that the voice will take a deeper pitch, and you may find the voice becoming breathy as the vocal folds allow more air to escape.”
Dr Mahler continues to explain that “One of the signs of attraction you can hear clearly is that suddenly the person is whispering breathily in your ear in a deep resonant tone.”
5. unrestrained smiles & Laughter
“An unrestrained smile is a great indicator of how much your date is enjoying your company… Whilst it might sound obvious, a big smile – especially a toothy grin – is an indicator that things are going well and the date feels totally trusting around you.”
A study by SmileDirectClub shows that “50 per cent of Aussies find that people who smile appear warm, while 60 per cent find those who smile more welcoming. Additionally, nearly 25 per cent of Australians believe that having a nice smile will boost their confidence,” Dr Mahler explains.
Is he laughing at your dad jokes? “It’s often said that you can tell if someone likes you if they laugh at bad jokes – and this is very close to the truth… Laughter is a subconscious flirting move that is very hard to hide when you’re in the presence of someone you’re into. At the very least, genuine laughter is a good sign that your date is having fun with you, and it could mean that they’re feeling a major sense of attraction.”
6. Your intimate space
Proxemics, the psychology of space differentiates the meaning of space around us, for example, 18 inches is the distance of your personals space which equates to the length of your arm. “Usually, we like to keep this to ourselves.”
So when someone moves within that space, it is known as the area of ‘intimacy’. If your date “Is suddenly moving in towards you and invading that ‘intimate space’ it can be a very good sign in the dating game,” explains Dr Mahler.
If they’re placing slight touches on your leg or your arm, or if they’re leaning into you during conversation and finding ways to initiate physical contact… then safe to say they’re into you.
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